After many tests, I have a workflow that works for me.
This issue was on all tapes and drives and from different sources. I suspect that the error came from a LTFS formatting rule rules="size=512K" I was using
sudo /opt/ibm/ltfssde/bin/mkltfs -f --device=0 -n000041 -s000041 --rules="size=512K" --device=/dev/sg1
I revised the formatting code to
sudo /opt/ibm/ltfssde/bin/mkltfs -f --device=0 -n 000016 -s 000016 --device=/dev/sg1
And things started to be better.
But the real difference was using a copy app called "qcommander", a QUANTUM variant of "mucommander".
https://github.com/mucommander/mucommander
Quantum advised to use this app instead of the finder when I had a QUANTUM LTFS server setup.
The advantage of this app is that I can see the copies moving forward, so I can see if and when the copy gets stuck.
It's a java app so it works on mac, windows and linux.
For the moment, I have been able to copy 4TBs with any real issues.
Thank you for your interest.