You are exactly right about the wildcard issue: the wildcard is not dynamic. it only adds the nodes that exist at the moment you run the command. Any new nodes registered later will be ignored by the group and start grabbing their own tapes.
If your primary goal is to use as few tapes as possible, I would actually recommend create 3 policy domains and 3 storage pools with Collocation=None. When you reg node use the target policy domain and it will use the destination storage pool of that particular policy domain.